I've just been living my life as dull as it is. I've gotten very discouraged on the job front and pretty much given up trying to find anything. A lack of self confidence, self-esteem and negative viewpoints on life and the future is why. Plus our economy is still in the shit and where the fuck are all the job they said are being created? WHERE?!! I still can't find any. And even to places I have got and filled applications for, I'm passed over. Not even calling them or if I got connections help me out neither!
It's depressing for me. Just what keeps me from trying to find a gun, putting it to my head and pulling that trigger? I sometimes want to die because of this shit. Whatever you suffer from only makes you stronger in the end, my ass! I just keep looking for something I can do, but nothing.
I really wish the stuff that happens in 2012 does come to fruition. Why do I keep waiting for the next day when I know I will find nothing and end up depressed?
I'm rarely happy these days. The only things I enjoy right now is doing NaNoWriMo. It at least takes my mind away from the dullness of my sorry life.
I just wonder what 2011 will bring...